Meryl and the Wicked Horrible Snowstorm- a One-Off

MERYL AND THE WICKED HORRIBLE SNOWSTORM- A ONE-OFF

The reporter said it’d happen last week. Then again, the reporter was kind of an idiot. 

‘Keep up this low pressure system and Rhode Island- maybe some of western Connecticut and some southern Mass’ll be seeing some record-breaking snow within the next couple of hours.’

John Something, his name was- I don’t remember for sure. His first name was John, but everyone’s name was John back then. It was the 80s, no-one had a bit of creativity. 

I sat by the TV- that big ol’ clunky thing taking up most of the table I propped my feet up on as I knit. What was I knitting? I don’t remember. I have a feeling I won’t remember a lot of the little details about this whole thing. 

Where was I?

Oh, yeah. That damn reporter. 

He said it would happen a whole lot earlier- the end of October didn’t seem too outlandish for a first snowfall, just a little early. But he was wrong, because of course he was. All us Islanders had basically forgotten about his little prediction until it hit us with a vengeance that next week. 

I was walking out of the Dave’s Marketplace down the road from where I lived when the first snow started. Light as it was, the wind was beginning to pick up. I put my bags in the car- a couple cans of green beans for a casserole later in the week when my niece came over from college and a bag of pork rinds. Horrible as they were for me they sure were good. 

Getting into the car and turning it on, the radio went on. That same old reporter started up, but this time he didn’t seem all too cocky. 

He sounded downright scared.

‘Wherever you are, close your doors. Bring in your potted plants, because we’re looking at temperatures lower than we’ve seen in the past three weeks. Check your windows for cracks, or else you’re going to be lettin’ in a whole bunch of cold air. We’re looking at up to three feet of snow based on current predictions, so watch out on the roads.’

I ignored him. It was a unanimous decision in our dear old KWBD Radio area that John Something was a fool and we all knew it. So when he said all that, nothing really felt all that urgent.

So I turned the radio to something pleasant- ‘So Alive’ by Love and Rockets. It came out a couple weeks earlier, but they just kept on playing it. Over and over and over and-

DAMMIT
DAMMIT
DAMMIT

I forgot the soup. I was, for the casserole, supposed to get three cans of Cream of Mushroom soup and I forgot it. 

Guess Danielle’s just going to have green beans when her flight gets in. I thought about what other stuff I had left in my pantry in a bit of a frenzy- I was kind of banking on the casserole. Casseroles and maple leaf cookies are maybe the two things I can cook with some kind of confidence. 

Guess we’re going out of the ol’ Comfort Zone today.

The snow came out harder. Harder. Harder. By the time I got home there was probably a good inch already covering the lawn. Only a couple rebellious blades of grass poked through the covering. 

I took the bags out of the backseat and walked into the house. I almost slipped going up the stairs- I grabbed onto the rail just as the slick snow under my boots gave out. Taking a shaky breath I opened the door, rushing in as I heard the kitchen phone ringing. 

“Hello?” I asked, picking up the call. 

“Meryl. Meryl, you have to listen.”

It was Danielle. Her voice frantic, she continued. “My flight just got cancelled. I’m stuck at La Guardia, for now. I’ll probably get a hotel room somewhere nearby until the weather clears up. I’m so sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, hon.” I tried to wrap my head around it. The snow was indeed as bad as that old John Something said it would be, bless his soul. And I had pretty much nothing inside- a couple cans of green beans, a bag of pork rinds, and not much else in the fridge or pantry. If it were to snow like this for a lot longer I’d be snowed in. “It’ll calm down sometime soon. You’ll be here before you know it.”

“I already called Mom and Dad,” she continued. “Even up in Maine it’s a mess. The whole Eastern Seaboard’s a mess. No one knows when it’s going to let up, either.”

“I’ll keep an eye on the weather channel, hon. You’ll be alright. We’ll be laughing about this in a couple days.”

We would not, in fact, be laughing about it in a couple days. 

Or ever, for that matter. 

Mostly because I died. 

It happened pretty suddenly- I was pretty healthy for an old lady, but a heart attack could happen to anyone at any time. This, unfortunately, was the time my body decided to give one to me. 

Those damn pork rinds probably did me in. In the hours before my death I inhaled those things like there was no tomorrow- in my case, there wasn’t, but I didn’t know it then. I was just putting a can of the green beans on my stove when I started to feel this odd tingly feeling up my right arm.  I ignored it for maybe fifteen minutes until two things happened- 

One- the green beans were ready and I stood up to take them off the stove.

Two- In standing up I realized the room was spinning. Or was I spinning? One of those.

I swayed for a moment before stumbling over to the stove. I got about two steps before I flopped right onto the kitchen’s tile floors, hitting my head on something hard as I did so. I pulled myself back up to the counter, holding myself up with my elbows on the hard fake-marble counter. I reached out for the phone and dialed the emergency number. 

Some kindly voice came from the speaker but I couldn’t get in a good enough breath to ask for help. 

So there I laid, on my unreasonably cold tile floor, until I couldn’t feel how damn cold that floor was anymore.